Category: Lifestyle

Lifestyle, Military Spouse Stories

Do virtual learning they said, it’ll be fun they said

mkanahy

This school year looks a little different than usual. Welcome back, students! Or should I say, parents? Due to COVID-19, most of our students now wake up, eat cereal, brush their teeth, and get ready to start virtual learning from their home.

While I understand new safety measures are taken to protect our children, who is tired of them already? In all honesty, though, how are you handling virtual learning? Are you still alive? How do you have the energy for all your kids, managing everyone’s iPad, keeping up with assignments, meetings, chores, and work? Although I’m grateful to be around my children, it can honestly be hectic. I work from home, and I have two kids in school (elementary and middle school), I am finishing up my Master’s degree, and still have to cook and clean.

So….here are my thoughts on this subject. I HATE IT. I’m not too fond of the fact that I have to sit there for 10 minutes to log in to their school meetings. Anyone else feels my pain on this one? All kids want to do is sit there and type away on the “group chat and send emojis.”

It’s quite impossible to keep an eye on them 24/7. It’s even harder to keep up with assignments and turn them in when the system or app continuously keeps kicking you out. I know this is just as hard for teachers, so kudos to them. But once again, I do not have the patience to teach. Some of these worksheets have me like, super confused.

If you have kids like mine, then you’re running all over the house 24/7. I feel like I’m a teacher on top of what I have to do at home or work. I know there are thousands out there in the same boat as me, and believe me, you are not alone.

It’s not easy for anyone. Teachers keep saying it will get more comfortable, but it doesn’t. Again, yes, they try hard as well, and I’m thankful for them, but who keeps us sane? I am not even ashamed to drive to my nearest gas station for mommy drinks anymore. Next time Carlos gives me that dirty look again; I will give him that “look.” That look, your mother used to give you when you were younger before whooping your ass. Carlos, if you’re reading this, now you know why I drink.

So next time someone judges you for having a dirty house, a full sink with dirty dishes, or the fact that you haven’t showered in days. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your kids know you are trying hard to teach them what they are taught on the other side of that screen, they understand how overwhelmed you can get, and they know mommy still loves them.

Next time you see a friend struggling with virtual classes, lift her. Offer her a coffee, buy her a 6-pack, drop some wine and chocolate, or maybe some bath bombs to relax her. Because chances are, she’s going through a lot, and nobody knows it.

Lifestyle, Military Spouse Stories

“Sexual assault is something that happens too often and something needs to be done”

mkanahy

I am Vanessa Guillen

For months, Vanessa Guillen’s family has been searching for answers since her disappearance in April.

Imagine searching for your son or daughter every second? Not knowing where they are, not knowing what happened. You’re searching for answers, but somehow no one seems to know anything. You try to be strong for your missing son or daughter, you try to be strong for the family. But deep down, you’re hurting. But it hurts more when your son/daughter’s second family lets them down. Hours, minutes, seconds go by, but no one knows anything. As your instinct tells you something is not right, you know someone out there knows where he/she is at.

Army Specialist Vanessa Guillen from Houston, Texas, went missing from the parking lot of her Regimental Engineer Squadron Headquarters, in Fort Hood, Texas. Vanessa’s car keys, barracks room key, identification card and wallet were later found in the armory room where she had been working earlier in the day.

According to the Guillen Family, they say Vanessa felt unsafe at Fort Hood, claiming someone was harassing her.Vanessa never told her mother the name of the accuser nor reported him to the unit.

Days went by since her disappearance and a reward was issued for any information regarding her whereabouts.

Yet no one had answers.

On July 1, the suspect connected to Vanessa’s disappearance committed suicide before being arrested by investigators. However, his alleged girlfriend Cecily Aguilar, was taken to custody and charged for helping the suspect, Aaron Robinson to dispose of Vanessa’s body.

Vanessa’s remains were found June 30. The Guillen family says the US Army Criminal Investigation Command never provided information about the suspect, or about the incident. The family lawyer says the suspect allegedly attacked Vanessa with a hammer then attempted to burn her body. When that didn’t work out the suspect and his girlfriend Cecily, dismembered Vanessa placing her remains in a shallow grave attempting to cover her in cement.

People all over the country have taken the streets to voice their frustration and anger of how the Army has let one of their soldiers down.

Today I had the privilege of attending my first protest ever. It wasn’t crazy, it wasn’t wild, it was just perfect. You see, one thing I love about Yuma is how strangers unite together and make you feel you’re right at home. Today was a moment for everyone to join together and talk about Vanessa, the tragedy she went through, and how this isn’t the first or last time it’s happened in the military.

I met some incredible people today who rushed from work to the protest to show their support for Vanessa’s family. You may be thinking, ‘Vanessa is not the only one, it’s happened to others, why this person in particular,’ and the answer is simple. It made it to national news because of Vanessa’s mother. Everyday she fought for her daughter, everyday Vanessa’s command would see her calling, everyday she begged local news stations for help regarding her daughter’s disappearance. This was a U.S. soldier who went missing without a trace. With no leads or clues to follow, the family kept fighting hard, for they knew Vanessa’s case wasn’t going to be swept under the rug.

This evening I met two incredible women who voiced their reason why they were there.

While protesting, I met Daniela and Penny, two women that were present to support the Guillen family through their pain and sorrows.

I asked Daniela why she decided to join the other protesters today and she replied, “I’m trying to spread more awareness, sadly this happens every moment of the day. There’s at least one rape, one abuse.” I also asked her what message she had for the Yuma community in which she replied, “Just participate in these protests because I know you guys retweet stuff online but it starts with your own community, right here right now, in this town. I know you want to go to L.A. and pride and all of that but you have to start here. Take baby steps, that’s what matters.”

Her friend Penny says as a mother to a little girl, this tragic event infuriates her, “There’s been a lot of things going on lately and we want justice and we want accountability within the military industrial complex. We want murderers in uniforms to have accountability and to pay the consequences, they need to stop being protective.” She continues to voice her concerns for Vanessa and her family by saying, “It’s heartbreaking. As a women it’s heartbreaking and I’m a mother I have a child and that’s something I don’t wish upon anyone. The fact that they kept it from her for so long the fact that they didn’t do anything. I’m glad the family spoke up because this would be just like any other case that was hidden under the rug. Sexual assault is something that happens too often and something needs to be done.“

To read more on Vanessa Guillen’s latest story, click here.

Lifestyle, Military Spouse Stories

Surviving the mom quarantined life

mkanahy

Well hello there! Welcome back to my page! I’ve been gone for quite sometime but that’s only because I’ve been super busy with work and school…oh and juggling my personal life.

Like all of you, well most of you, I’ve been staying at home attending to my duties of writing from home and pursuing my education. I’m hoping to graduate this fall, therefore I’ll have more “time” on my hands. But before I jump to this hectic lifestyle we are all living in, I hope each and everyone of you is safe and sound at home. I continuously pray for those who are affected by COVID-19 and hoping this ends soon.

Ok, ok, back to business.

These past couple of weeks have been C-R-A-Z-Y to say the least. Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and thankful to work from home. However, like most of you, I go crazy being at home! I get it, yes it’s for our safety and I’m totally okay with that. But when you have 3 crazy kids running around, having to feed them every other hour, and having to yell at them like 100 times to separate them from fighting, um yeah, it gets hectic.

Sometimes, I feel like my head is going to explode. I seriously feel like a computer memory (RAM). Oh my apologies, for those who don’t know what that is…According to crucial.com, computer memory or random access memory (RAM) is your system’s short-term data storage; it stores the information your computer is actively using so that it can be accessed quickly. The more programs your system is running, the more memory you’ll need. 

Sheeesshhhh!!! I knew I wasn’t crazy! I knew I needed a bigger head for all this craziness in my life.

Unlike most of these cool moms, I don’t craft with my kids, I don’t bake with my kids, I do homework halfway with them, I drink 2 cups of coffee in the morning to “chill,” I absolutely have the TV on from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. (give me a break, the weather in Yuma is already in the triple digits), I do drink ONCE a week, I do shower everyday, I cook three meals a day (well, for the most part), I tend to go on walks with the family to release some stress, I am on my laptop 12 hours a day (between work and school), I have been saving more money, I have been eating LIKE shit for the most part, I don’t play video games or board games. Diet? what’s that? movies are my best friend, and I tend to go grocery shopping to get away from my family for at least an hour (trust me, you would do the same if you were in my shoes).

But I’m curious to know, how are you spending your life? What are you doing to cope and entertain yourself or your family?

Lifestyle

What kind of a friend are you?

mkanahy

Friends, don’t we all have them? You’re probably thinking to yourself, ” here we go again, a friendship post.” Well yes, you are CORRECT! However, when was the last time you really paid attention to the people you surround yourself with?

Remember when you were younger and your parents at some point said to you, “Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you really are?”

“Ayyyyy mom, not even close, I’m nothing like Mary. You have nothing to worry about.” Lies, they are all lies. At some point we feel judged, left out, peer pressured by those we see as friends. But is that really normal? No. No one should ever make you feel like you are useless. We often meet people in our lives who are there to make a difference, and then there are those who we meet by accident.

However, don’t ever let a shitty person make you feel like you’re not worth it, or capable of meeting your goals.

We often find negative people that want to take advantage of us, that want to see us fail, that enjoy every minute of our sadness. But how often do we really meet the right person in our life? And let me just point out to you, this isn’t a “oh my soulmate is my best friend,” no mija.

This post is to simply ask yourself if you are indeed surrounded by the right group of people in your current life. We have all meet different types of friends, and although we might not always agree with the way they are, we still love them for who they are.

Don’t dwell on the past, but rather live the moment with the people that love you the most.

The Friend Who Can Read You Like A Book

  • This is towards the friend that knows everything about you, to include your body language and let alone your attitude. He/She often reads your mind, and knows exactly what to say. Are you that transparent that they know everything you’re thinking and feeling? (may be a little scary but damn, at least someone can read your moody ways).
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The Sarcastic Friend

  • Does she ever shut up? No, but really though? Many people and I mean many people do not understand her humor! She can be funny, but many don’t understand her humor, so they automatically think your friend is mocking someone else. Eyes roll everywhere and you of all people sometimes can’t tell if they are being serious or simply playing around. If this sounds like you, well congratulations, you are THE SARCASTIC FRIEND…haha..NO!
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The Smart Friend

  • Oh boy, here we go. The smarty pants out of the bunch. The straight A’s student who can help you in everything, and I mean everything. You can’t even argue with her because she is so smart and apparently KNOWS IT ALL. Yeah, super annoying at times but you may be thankful when you have a sturdy friend in your life. You often think to yourself, why ask google when you have Mary around.
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The Loyal Friend

  • The only person that sticks with you through thick and thin. Regardless of your differences and arguments, she’s the only that never leaves your side. When treated poorly, they often think they are either taken advantage of, they’re too stupid, or they’re just too loyal. Too loyal to put up with people’s shit. But you love that about them. Because they are the only ones to put up with your shit. The only person that never turns their back on you. She may be gone for a while, but comes back to you to keep putting up with your shit. Thanks friend!
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The Friend Who Is Just Like You

  • ” You were thinking it,” “I know but you said it.” Typical two peas in a pod. The Ying to your Yang. Like Mary-Kate and Ashley. You guys are just the same person, think the same, have so many similarities that you often think, “wait a minute, are you sure we are not related?” This is a one of a kind friend who is seriously just like you. She’s the sister from another mister! This is the type of a friend everyone needs. Careful though, you may often bump heads.
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The Friend Who Would Do Anything For You

  • It’s not stupidity. They would just drop everything they are doing to help you out. This person values your friendship more than everyone else. She is committed to your friendship and never expects anything in return. They often think people take their kindness for weakness but refuse to believe that is the case. This friend is never too busy or too far to help you when you’re stuck in a situation.
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The Quiet Friend

  • Everyone has this type of friend. She’s quiet, non-confrontational, very reserved, super quiet, and most of all shy. She can only be herself around you when she genuinely appreciates your company. Even though your mom always says to watch out for the quiet ones, chances are you might end up with at least one quite friend. Never really socializes but is clearly listening to everything that’s being said around her.
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The Motivating Friend

  • You can do it, I believe in you! Don’t we all have that one friend that often believe in us when we doubt ourselves? That friend that is constantly showing us motivation, and is usually positive about every situation. That friend tends to be successful and wants you to succeed as well.
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The Blunt Friend

  • #sorrynotsorry sound familiar? The one that doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything. LITERALLY! Does not think before she speaks, and although it can be annoying for some, you’ve adapt to it throughout your friendship. This is the friend that will talk about all your embarrassing moments you’ve spent together. The person that has no filter whatsoever. She’s great at giving you advice and does not hold her opinions back. Don’t take her bluntness the wrong way, that’s just the way she is.
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The Friend Who is Friends with Everyone

  • Ms. Popular, Ms. I’m the Shit, Ms. Every one thinks I’m the shit, Ms. My Shit don’t stink. Everyone is drawn to her, everyone loves her, she’s just your “to go to girl.” The friend everyone can turn too because she is neutral and the friend your acquaintances know. She’s loyal to her circle and you can’t go anywhere without running into someone she may know.
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The CRAZY Friend

  • This is the friend that gives 0 FUCKS! The friend who is always down to do just about anything, anywhere, anytime. We often need a little craziness in our lives to balance us out. However, she may be too much at times. That bubbly friend who is always in a “let’s fuck shit up” mood is there for you to make some pretty wild memories together. She often makes decisions based on intuition versus feelings, and lives by the phrase, “YOLO” which means You Only Live Once.
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The Stubborn Friend

  • The friend that no matter WHAT YOU SAY she will do whatever she wants! She will not listen to what you have to say, although she will hear you out. She is not open to other people’s ideas or comments because she knows what is right and wrong. She doesn’t like when others don’t agree with her and will argue for hours until she gets her point across and prove to others she is right.
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The Life of the Party

  • She’s the life of the party, the little ray of sunshine that everyone just loves to be around with. That friend doesn’t care what others have to say because she’s too busy living her life. She doesn’t waste her time on negative nancy’s because she’s too busy livin la vida loca. She makes risky decisions because she knows life is nothing but a big damn party. She’s honest with you and you’ll notice she’s the life of your friendship too.
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The Attention Seeker

  • By far, the FAVORITE friend. The one that is always crying for attention. “Oh why me? why is John always trying to hook up with me? I push him away but yet he keeps coming back for more. Why me?” Although we get annoyed at them because they’re constantly making it about them and want people to feel sorry for them, we deep down love them. She will do anything to get noticed, she will say anything to be remembered. She’s not the best listener because she constantly wants to be the center of attention. They are good friends but remember that they will make your conversation about them (don’t say I didn’t tell you so).
Image result for attention seeker meme"
Lifestyle

You’re probably not that person social media says you are

mkanahy

Have you ever heard the phrase, you are what you eat? What about being that same person you claim to be on social media?Your photos show nothing but happiness. Look at all those followers you have? Wow, you’re fully verified on Instagram. Chances are you now an Instagram model. But something is missing, something is not quite right. That beautiful perfect person you are on social media is not a representation of who you are.

You see, in today’s world, perfection is seen through filters, photoshop, and lots of “lighting.” You often say, ‘ahhh, this is it,’ I’ve accomplished being noticed and looked up to. Everyone’s jealous of your life, but is it your real life?


In today’s world, we like to share posts, photos, recipes, and videos with all of our followers, friends, and families. Have you ever thought for a second that what you post represents who you are? Think about it carefully, you share over 100 videos a month that talk about pets, politics, make-up, or even violence. But is that the real you? Social media has mentally and physically drained some of us. Keeping track of every post you upload on social media can be exhausting, for you try too hard to please the viewers.
You have no idea how many people I’ve met in person who are miserable, unhappy, mistreated, cheaters, liars, but, most of all, fake. The fakers are those who represent something they are not. But their social platforms claim otherwise. No, this post is not to bash those people, although I am guilty of it myself. But as I’ve grown older, I realize the difference between sharing something personal to sharing successes and happiness with others.


It’s incredible seeing my old friends being successful and thriving in their careers on Facebook and Instagram. But often wonder if they’re genuinely happy? The reason I bring this up is that I’ve run into some of the old buddies, and one conversation leads to another until they say, “that person behind those photos is me but not me.” So are you saying that’s physically you but not emotionally you. Yes! Sometimes social media is an escape from real life. After all, who wants to see a sad person behind those photos? The unfortunate reality is that most of the people are not happy with their lifestyles, partners, jobs, but yet they upload the good they have in their life.


Was social media created to be a distraction from the real world? When was the last time you posted a sad status in which you didn’t feel judged? When did you last post a picture of you without a filter, showing the world how you look like in person? Celebrities’ lifestyles drive us to act like them and often want to be them. We continuously wish for something we don’t have. Trying to be something we are not. Deep inside you’re still that same girl who is still scared of the dark, the same girl who has been trying to lose weight for years but can’t accomplish confidence within your skin, the girl who is scared of being under the knife but yet want to look like all those celebrities that have the same ant body.

What I’m saying is, share the true happiness you claim to show in real life, share the confidence you have on social media, share successes, and always be gentle with others. Do post pictures that make you happy.


The world is filled with evil as it is, but always be real with yourself first before you try to be yourself with other people online. So let me ask you again, are you really who you claim to be on the internet? Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if that’s the person you are, for we will never know.

Lifestyle

Mother’s Day Activity Ideas

mkanahy

Although we should celebrate our mothers every day, it’s a given that we still want to celebrate them on Mother’s Day. The only time of the year (aside of their birthday) where they get to be pampered by you. I have the tools to make their day extra special depending on their personality.

Manis & Pedis

Do you have a Mother who is often standing too much on her feet due to work? Well, look no further. She might need an excellent foot massage to release the tension she has. And while you’re at it, don’t be cheap and let her get her nails done too. You don’t have to get the expensive package for her, but remember, it’s her day, let her pick the color and package she wants.

Shopping

Perhaps your mother is a fashionista. You know she loves, and I mean she loves to buy clothes. Take her out on a shopping spree. What better way to pamper your mother than by taking her to her favorite store and purchase new outfits for her. If you’re not a shopper, buy her a gift card to her favorite store.

Maybe she’s not a fashionista but loves to cook and bake? buy her a new dish set or a nice expensive stand mixer you know she has been eyeing on.

Go wine tasting

Want to make your mother’s day extra special? Head to a nearby winery for a Mother’s Day tasting. It’s fun if your mom is a wine lover. Don’t forget to buy a bottle or two after the trip as a souvenir. Not a wine lover? no problem, head to brewing company and have her taste different beers

Book a trip

Literally! Maybe your mom needs a little getaway weekend to release some stress. Book a hotel and stay there for the weekend followed by mimosas on the pool. You can also check and see if the hotel offers spa massages.


Museum/Art gallery

Some of us have mothers that have a passion for art. Take your mom out to an art gallery or museum. Who knows, she might need a new piece for her living room.

Cooking class

Your mom might be the greatest chef ever, however, taking a cooking class together is relaxing and at the same time delicious. I mean, who doesn’t love food right?

Makeover

What woman doesn’t like being pampered? Is your mom looking for a new look? Maybe a new hair color? New make up? Book her an appointment where she can get her hair done, after all, summer is here, and her hair can use a few highlights. As a plus, you can always buy her a gift certificate to microblade her eyebrows or get her lash extensions.

Tattoo/Piercing

Is your mom a rebel without a cause? Well, she can use a new tattoo or a new piercing to match her fearless side. As a plus, ask if she wants to get matching tattoos with you.

Photoshoot

What mother, and I mean what mother doesn’t like pictures of her whole family? book an appointment at JcPenney’s or hire a photographer to take pictures of herself and her grandkids.

Closeup summer portrait of happy grandmother with grandchildren outdoors

Movie/Dinner

If your mom is simple and does not like the chaos, take her out to dinner and a movie. Don’t forget to buy her a card, flowers, and chocolate. Believe it or not, our mothers love to feel special too.

Lifestyle

7 fun things to do over spring break

mkanahy

Nothing sounds better than the sounds of the waves. Better yet, relaxing and drinking a mojito next to your lover. In all reality though, working, taking care of the kids, and going to school can be EXHAUSTING, right? I mean, isn’t spring break just around the corner? You might have heard your neighbor is taking her kids to Disneyland, or your girlfriend is celebrating spring break without her kids for the weekend. If you asked for time off to take your kids somewhere but don’t have the funds for it, here are a few ideas for you to get out of the house before it gets too HOT!

Beach, please

Literally. Beach, please. Kids love to play in the water, and you might get a little break from them while you relax in the sand. Toes in the water, ass in the sand right? I finally got you thinking. Although most people visit the beach on spring break, make sure you find a spot away from all the craziness that’s happening. No beach toys? visit your local Dollar Tree, Target, and Wal Mart. Get them now while supplies last. Not an outdoor person? let’s see what we have in the list for you.

Movies & Popcorn

Not everyone likes being outdoors, and that is completely fine, but in this case, Redbox can become your best friend for the next. Netflix and Hulu have great movies, but if you haven’t seen the newer movies, I recommend you rent some and watch them with your children after dinner time. No car? No problem, Redbox has an app where you can now rent them and stream them to your television. Not only does it save you gas money, but it saves you from trying to rent a movie that has already been rented from the kiosk.

Theme Parks

If you have the time, money, and most of all PATIENCE, why not? Theme parks will be packed with visitors from other places, but it shouldn’t stop you from having fun. Maybe you have been saving for quite some time, go ahead and take advantage of it, kids won’t mind those long lines anyways (remember to bring plenty of sunblock).

Ski Resort

Depending on the area you live in, chances are there is still snow around you. If your kids have never been skiing, take the opportunity to take them out and show them around. You can sign up for classes; you can travel with others; the possibilities are endless. If you have small children, renting a cabin should be fun as well. Remember, it’s about spending time as a family.

Zoo & Aquariums

One of my favorites because what kid doesn’t like to see or pet animals? Not only is it fun, but it’s educational to learn about them. You can make it a fun trip with your children while discussing types of foods the animals eat, or which animal is their favorite, etc. It’s exciting as an adult to see different kinds of fishes, imagine how excited kids will be?

Playgrounds

Make a list of all the playgrounds you can visit in a week and drive to one every day. Not only will your children make new friends, but as a parent, you get to relax for a few hours while they run around finally. Don’t forget to pack some sandwiches and water.

Visit friends/family out of state

Thank you, Facebook for reuniting us with old friends and keeping us in touch with family members we haven’t seen in years! Take the opportunity to go on a road trip to visit a place you’re probably not familiar with. It’s always fun driving to a place you’ve never been before, and if it’s your hometown, well now you can show your kids the places you used to hang out as a kid.

 

Lifestyle

Be Persistent, Be Ambitious, Be YOU

mkanahy

Have you ever been turned down? Did you recently apply for a new job and received an email saying the company was going with someone else that met the qualifications for the position? Little obstacles that get in our way can be a pain but most of all discouraging. You see a big fat NO, and you automatically shut down. People say “don’t give up,” “don’t get discouraged,” or “you’ll find something better.” But is that true? How many times have you settled for a job you currently need to stay in to pay bills? Are you currently happy where you are at? If so, disregard this blog, but if you’re not, keep reading.


How often do you wake up hating your job? And yes, there’s such thing as hating your job but having to keep your job to pay bills. Some of us have a college degree; others are still finishing school; some have settled for the job they have. What if I told you there are more opportunities out there for you? in this case, you want to ask yourself, do you want a job or are you seeking a career? I’ve told myself plenty of times that I need a new job. It’s not because I’m not happy, it’s because I’m looking for something more challenging, a company I can continue to grow in as an individual. The reality of working in certain companies is that there are no opportunities after you’ve been hired. Just like everything in life you need to earn that promotion just like everybody else, but will you be happy with the new position? or is the new pay going to keep you happy? You have no idea how many people I’ve met that received their degree in the complete opposite subject of what they’re working in. The sad reality about not chasing their dreams is because they don’t have the adequate experience the company is looking for. Or maybe you realized accounting or teaching isn’t your passion, so you decide to stir to a different career. There is nothing wrong with that; I think it’s a great way of knowing and learning more about yourself. In life, you have to be persistent about the goals and career paths you want to take. As silly as it may sound to some, maybe you’re unhappy working your typical 9-5 job. Perhaps you want something more profound in which you can become your boss. I know you have a talent, use it, try it out. Have you not seen how many people nowadays use social media to sell stuff they enjoy making? I see people selling make-up, crochet items, wreaths, paintings, even food on Facebook and Instagram. Think about what you want in life; think about what makes you happy. I’ve met people who have such great jobs but are not fully satisfied. They say it’s too stressful, that the pay isn’t worth it, don’t be that person. Be passionate about what you love to do, the things you want others to see. Maybe you can be the next Einstein!


No is just another negative word that keeps us from reaching our goals. No is just another phrase to make us quit, to give up on ourselves. Be persistent, be positive, be happy. Think about how many times athletes and actors have been rejected for not being good enough. You’re good enough, and if acting, modeling, being a salesperson, being a chef, is your passion? Then go for it. Don’t settle for the opportunities you find that will make you happy for a couple of months; settle for the chances you’ll keep growing from. As the saying goes, always settle for more, never for less. Continue to be a goal digger regardless of those who say no. Be ambitious, be persistent, be patient, but most of all, be positive.

Lifestyle, Military Spouse Stories

A Letter to my Husband

mkanahy

Dear Husband,

Here we are ten years later, sitting on the couch, thinking about the crazy things we have done. From the day we met, I knew we would be more than just friends. A couple of pounds lighter, two immature kids who didn’t know what marriage was all about. I could have told you our life together would be full of adventure the minute we met. Cops were chasing, a night of laughter, turned into a serious commitment the next couple of weeks. You see, I never knew what the “military life” was all about. I didn’t quite understand what I was getting myself into. All I cared about was seeing you every weekend. Sometimes those weekends turned into weekdays. Driving to my house in your little red car was all I could see from my window. Getting off with your Vans shirt, jean shorts, and high top Vans made my knees weak, for I had never seen such a handsome guy in my life. You know, I had met other guys before, but none could compare to you. You were different, your manners were different, and that face, well being from the valley, you looked different. I didn’t quite understand how serious it was until you decided to plan a trip for us to Disneyland. Where you booked a hotel for the weekend so you and I could enjoy ourselves. However, that changed the minute you picked me up from my house that day. News that I didn’t know would change our lives forever. I was able to enjoy Disneyland thanks to you though. You made me feel safe; you protected me, I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Finding out I was expecting was a bit heartbreaking in the beginning not knowing what direction my life was heading. You made everything fall into place by telling me you would be there by my side every step of the day. It happened, and after the news broke, everything happened so fast. You see, many obstacles were thrown at the beginning of our relationship. Some people thought I was stupid, but I stood by your side every step of the way. I had faith in us because I knew we had a future together. It wasn’t for the fact that we had our first child together. It was because I loved you. Sometimes love makes you do stupid things, and sometimes it blinds you so utterly that you don’t see the challenges in it. We have overcome too many obstacles, lies, and challenges that we are now two adults who keep learning from each other’s mistakes. Our families have fought, our families have hit rock bottom, our mistakes have affected everyone, but we somehow come out stronger than before. We have achieved so much in so little time, look at what we have created, three handsome boys who respect us and look up to us. Children than depend on us to teach them the importance of life and success. Who knew we had all this going on for them? For the future of us? We have created all this in ten years. in ten years so much has happened. Between battles, challenges, mistakes, cries, and laughter. We are here; our kids are our future of this family. One day we will look back at all the stupid things we have said and done when we were younger and laughed at the crazy decisions we had made through the years. Because that’s what life is, it consists of life testing your relationship with the other person. When you think you have it all, you don’t. We are humans, but together as a couple, we can overcome anything. It’s a lot like a rollercoaster. There are twists and turns, and some of the hills are scary, but you stay on the ride just to feel the thrill of that fall again. There is no other person I would want to share this ride with. We have built so much together, we have been in it too long to call it quits for a stupid argument. I’m just glad we are able to enjoy our life now how we once picture it to be. Peaceful, understanding, and finally agreeing with one another when it comes to parenting. Together, forever, and ever. Growing old with you is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Hoping one day, our boys will find good women whom they will share the rest of their lives with. I’m in it for the long ride baby, because I am not going anywhere.

Always & Forever

Lifestyle

Do you have a self-care plan?

mkanahy

You’ve found your spot and you’re finally ready to rest for the night. It feels like five, maybe ten minutes when all of a sudden, your alarm goes off. You wake up and what are your first thoughts? “another day, another dollar”, “here we go again”, or my favorite, “is it Friday yet?” if this sounds like you, you are not alone. Don’t you love being an adult? Or better yet, having to act like an adult 90% of your life. I mean, bills have to get paid, your family has to eat, you practically have to work to pay bills and survive. Am I right? Even though our everyday lives consist of a routine, I’m here to tell you it’s time to break that habit. When was the last time you actually put yourself first above anyone else? If you have children you tell yourself they come first above anything else, but when was the last time someone made sure you were okay? You see, husbands/wives nor children understand what it’s like to put everyone else first besides yourself. If you are a stay at home mom, you get judged for not working, not having a career, pretty much for being a “bum”. Well, that’s not true. Even though you’re not really actually getting paid to feed others, or to clean after their mess, or to cook for them, you’re there to make sure everyone’s sanity is okay. The same goes for moms that work. You’ve had a long day, you get home and you immediately switch to mom/housewife mode. It’s fucken hard. No one warned us how hard it is to survive in the real world. Nothing gets handed to us, nothing in this world is free. Anxiety, depression, is real. If you’re reading this and often feel like your life consists of a routine, I’m here to tell you that you need to break that habit, that you need to start caring about yourself more than usual. You’re a single mom, so what? You’re going through a divorce, so what? You’re worried about next week’s test, so what? How do you think you’ll survive without self-care? When was the last time you asked yourself if you were okay? or maybe you just need someone to hear you out? Maybe you just need a hug from a friend and someone to tell you-you’re doing just fine? When was the last time you really disconnected yourself from social media? Self care is real and it’s important. Without caring for yourself you leave no space to care for others. You know those days where you get home stressed from work? It’s real, and it affects your family. Why would anyone want to live under your negative cloud? Work and homework start piling up, but you leave no space for yourself because you think it’s SELFISH. Let me remind you that self-care reduces the negative effects of stress and promotes a healthy work-life balance. Make self care a daily act that’s part of your routine, and I promise, you will start feeling better about yourself.

Here are a few ideas to get you started, but remember, make it a daily routine.

  • Try a new fitness class- (For real though, how many times have we told ourselves we need to work out? But not just to look good in the outside, but to feel better in the inside. Remember, you physically want to look good, but you also want to emotionally feel better. Not to mention, you’ll be more energized after that workout, get it, girl!!).
  • Read a book- (How often do we say we don’t have time to read? instead of being on social media before bed, grab a book or a magazine and start reading. Trust me, it’s good for the soul).
  • Eat Healthy- (Guys, this is real. How often do we eat like crap and feel like crap? leave that nasty junk food aside and look up some delicious and healthy recipes).
  • Sleep routine- (We often go to bed late because “We can’t sleep.” We can’t sleep because we either have too much on our minds or because we’re just not tired. Find a routine after dinner. Go for a walk, take a warm bath, and get ready for bed. Remember, our bodies need at least a good 7-9 hours to function. Set your alarm clock, but for Pete’s sake, put that damn phone away).
  • Church- (This may not be for everyone, but perhaps you’ve fallen out of your routine of not attending church? Maybe you’re the type of person that needs to connect with others to bring you closer to your beliefs? If so, try going back to release some stress and to focus on yourself).
  • Friends/Family- (When was the last time you shared some good laughs and memories along with the people you love the most? Go out and spend time with them. Release stress and talk about your day, talk about your feelings. Better letting everything out than in. At least for your own sanity).
  • Goodbye Electronics- (You can get a break from social media and believe it or not, you will not die. When having dinner, put that phone away. Movie night with the kids? Shut the phone off. We sadly tend to put our attention to other people around the world than our own family. Make sure you make time for them and not those memes or videos you keep scrolling to every five minutes).

If you want to survive, put yourself first above anything else. If these ideas don’t work for you, find something that does. Maybe you’re the type of person that needs a vacation to clear your mind, or perhaps a spa date. But above that, remember that self-care is something that should be taken seriously by taking care of your own mind and body. You know the saying, “if you don’t love yourself first no one will,” well it’s entirely true. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of those precious little creatures that call you mom. If you can’t take care of yourself, no one else will. And please, take 30 minutes of your day, to focus on you.